Love may be in the air this Valentine’s Day — but across New York City and beyond, it’s with a vengeance.
Frustrated by ghosts, tricksters and situations gone wrong, lonely people exchange roses for ghosts, candlelit food for spiritual cleansing, and sweet treats for a cruel return.
From naming bugs after exes to “cutting the cord,” grief is officially over — and it’s helping the needy in a weird way.
Leading the mini-show is an enduring Valentine’s tradition at the Bronx Zoo, where New Yorkers can name an adorable Madagascar cockroach after a lover, loather or emotional crush — for just $15.
The classic package comes with a digital certificate that proves your chosen name will be immortalized, as well as proceeds that benefit wildlife conservation.
Are you feeling so amazing? The zoo is upping the ante with a $35 Virtual Valentine Party, where patrons can meet a roach (and a surprise animal guest) live with zoo experts.
Cupid has a contest this Valentine’s Day — and it’s called revenge. Burned by ghosts, cheaters and endless situations, singles trade chocolate for mayhem and offer heart-killing chills.
And for those looking for some merch-wrapped revenge, there’s a $70 Mystery Box containing roach-themed items, a printed certificate to commemorate the event, and a roach meet-and-greet on Feb. 13, 14 or 15.
Good, bad or somewhere in between – only New York can turn misery into insect-based compassion.
Not to be outdone, online gambling site BetUS is back for the second year in a row, letting scrappy punters name a New York City rat after their toxic ex for $15 — and draft it into a fictional All-Star basketball rat league.
Participants can spend the tea by submitting horror stories of separation, the five most interesting of which earn the rats first place.
According to BetUS, it’s all about turning emotional injuries into swashbuckling legacy players – proving that even grief can have high reels.
Meanwhile, across the country (and beyond), revenge begins in earnest.
The trend has exploded thanks to animal shelters like Blackwood, New Jersey’s Homeward Bound, which became famous for its HIV-positive “Neuter Your Ex” fundraiser.
For donations that typically range from $15 to $50, shelters name feral cats after former flames — then spay them or use Trap-Neuter-Return programs to control cat populations.
The concept has spread to shelters in Iowa, Florida, Canada and Ireland, combining a little fun with real good deeds.
Because nothing says closure like people control.
Down in Texas, the Gulf Coast Humane Society offers a different way… to throw away to one’s former flame.
For $10, donors can write the former’s name on a piece of paper and have it placed in the litter box, where the cat will do what cats do best. And, yes, you even get a dirty action photo, probably for closing.
Romance is dead – long live the litter box!
The fundraiser supports kitten care, community clinics and food pantries.
And if that’s not enough catharsis for your trampled heart, Alaska and Canada have more poignant offerings.
The “Love Hurts” fundraiser by Bird TLC allows donors to name mealworms or mice after exes, which are then fed to birds of prey and corvids.
For $10, a crow or magpie gets a snack. For $50 to $100, the raptor goes wild. Sponsors even found video evidence that their revenge was swallowed whole.
Up in Canada, the Northern Spotted Owl Breeding Program is running its annual “No RegRATS” campaign.
For $5, a mouse named after your ex is fed by an endangered owl, with a souvenir photo sent directly to your inbox.
This program supports one of the rarest owls in North America, where fewer than six live in the wild.
Back in NYC, the broken hearts are completely ratty and completely bewitched.
Singles light candles for cord-cutting rituals, burn papers with girlfriends’ names on them, take spiritual baths to cleanse negative energy, and cast spells aimed at banishing toxic lovers for good – or at least until Valentine’s Day 2027 brings someone hotter.
Experts say it’s no coincidence that the retaliation happened before Feb. 14.
“Valentine’s Day is traditionally loaded as the ultimate symbol of romantic success – it heightens emotions,” Dr. Holly Ann Schiff, a licensed psychologist and relationship expert, told The Post.
When love is thrust into everyone’s face, the emotions of separation are overwhelming – and a sudden return feels like therapy.
“Revenge-style acts provide a socially acceptable way to vent that pain and regain control over a holiday that feels designed to exclude them,” Schiff explains.
However, an expert warns that there is a fine line between humor and correction.
“Playful acts in moderation can be painful, but when revenge becomes the primary way a person processes a breakup, it delays real healing,” warns Schiff.
In other words: a roach named after your ex is harmless fun – but the thought of getting one can keep the heartache alive longer than the relationship itself.
“The verification of a real human connection will always trump effective retaliation,” notes Schiff.
Sure, this Valentine’s Day, love may be painful, but at least many of these trends combine good practice with dark humor — perhaps giving exes the legacy they truly deserve.
