Should I end a longtime friendship because of his political social media posts?
Dear ABBY: I am a 38 year old woman, no children, I have a loving partner and a puppy. I have a business that my father built in the beginning. I am at a high point in my life despite the tragedy of losing my mother. I see my friendship is important to move forward in life.
A woman I have known since childhood writes harsh and opinionated political things on social media. I don’t agree with them. I don’t mind if you have that political opinion as long as I don’t see it, but I’d rather you leave it out of our friendship.
My social media consists only of family photos and pictures of my dog’s antics. I choose not to post material that may be divisive. Would it be wrong to end this friendship, since our views as adults are no longer compatible? – Separate DECISION NEW JERSEY
DESIRED DIVORCE DECISION: When your long-time friend posts these things on social media, it’s not just you. He shares it with all his friends, many of whom may be like-minded. Rather than end the relationship, scroll through what he sent, mute or block him completely. However, if he brings up these ideas when you are together, ask him to take politics out of the conversation.
Dear ABBY: I made dinner at a restaurant to celebrate my wife’s birthday. There will be 16 guests, all family members. Our daughter “Erin,” who is hard to say no to, recently asked if our grandson could bring his girlfriend. Although it looks like they are in a strong relationship, no one else at the party has ever met this girl.
A few years ago, Erin did the same. He asked on Christmas Day if his son could bring a friend to what was a family dinner for 12 at our house. We apologized and said it wouldn’t be right. Erin then refused to come to dinner with her family of five. He was angry for weeks. I feel that requests like this are inappropriate. Am I off base? – FULL PERSON IN ARIZONA
WE CAN SAY BEAUTIFUL: You are not off base. Erin has a lot of gall to think she can tell who would drag someone to someone else’s party, and then she’s pissed off when the answer is no. Stick to your guns and don’t be intimidated.
Dear ABBY: After your children grow up, who should they call? I tend to wait for my kids to do it because they lead busier lives than I do and I don’t want to bother them. But this can mean I don’t talk to my kids for weeks at a time. Should I be the one calling? – SITTING ON THE PHONE IN COLORADO
DEAR LIVING: Call your children as often as you like. If they are busy and can’t talk for a long time, they will probably tell you. However, if between calls you are just sitting around waiting for the phone to ring, I urge you to start engaging in activities that bring you joy and stimulate your mind. If you do, your conversations will be lively.
Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at www.DearAbby.com or PO Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.
