HOW TO DO IT: I went to live with my boyfriend and found that, in my opinion, he has an unusual habit. Not only does he say “bless” in response to a sneeze, but he does so in response to burping and burping too!
When I asked him about it, he said that he was taught respect. He is from the South, while I am not.
Is this true? Saying “bless” in response to constipation seems crude to me, though I can’t put my finger on why. I would like to know if this is a common practice that I am not aware of, or if it is as strange as it sounds.
GOOD STUDENT: No real sense of why flatulence and burping are rude and sneezing isn’t, assuming it’s all unintentional. Still, saying “bless you” after anything other than a sneeze seems to be a rebuke—as if sneezing was what one meant to do, and it turns out to be wrong.
Miss Manners seems to have her finger on it. Although he would be happy not to.
HOW TO DO IT: I take the bus to and from work. As I got off the bus recently, the bus driver (who I see once or twice a week) gave me a letter, in which he expressed his admiration for me and a desire to get to know me better.
Although he seems like a nice guy, I am married and have no interest in getting to know him. What is the correct way to answer? On another note, personally or by politely ignoring everything?
GOOD STUDENT: Can you take another bus?
Maybe this is too bad, but the note sounds very close, it says something personally a little and you just ignore it for a while – eventually you will follow.
It might be fun, though, to ask your husband to join you one morning. The young man’s reaction, Miss Manners guessed, would be a good indication of what he was recommending.
Dear MISS WAY: I am a widow with many acquaintances and jobs. I am physically and verbally affectionate with family members and close friends, and I am kind with hugs and “I love you.”
My gentle friend and I have become close, and we feel we love each other. But since we both don’t like serious relationships, the words “I love you” are uncertain and will be silly.
Can you suggest another word to express my feelings? “I love you” seems inadequate and awkward.
GOOD STUDENT: “I like spending time with you”?
Make sure, Miss Manners suggests, not to sneeze or cough between the words “love” and “spend.” Obviously that would be tolerating that.
HOW TO DO IT: My husband thinks it is acceptable to go out in public with a toothpick in his mouth. This includes shops, restaurants and other people’s homes.
When I tell him it’s low quality and disrespectful, he tells me I’m wrong. What should one do?
GOOD STUDENT: Feed him only soft food.
Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, gentlereader@missmanners.com; or by mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.
