What are romance scams and how can you avoid them?

“I fell in love with him and he said he felt the same way about me,” said the victim of the love scam who asked not to be identified. They met a man named “Bob” on Facebook, who said he was in South Africa working for the military.

After talking for a long time, Bob said he wanted to visit the victim, who lives in the United States. He actually started asking for money: “He told me that he had a problem with his bank card not working in South Africa and he can’t even get the money to pay for his flight,” said the stranger. “He asked me if I could send him money to pay him [flight] and other things.”

The victim, like many others, sent money to the mill. Romance scams are a multi-million dollar problem, and they seem to be getting worse. According to the Federal Trade Commission (FTC), people are reported missing $547 million from romance scams in 2021, an 80 percent jump from the previous year. Then in 2025, two senators urged the CEO of Match Group to crack down on dating scams, suggesting the problem is getting worse.

But what exactly are romance scams, and how can you avoid them?

What are romance scams?

Scams in love they are also called confidence scams because they require the scammer to gain the trust of the victim. They are a form of social deception in which fraudsters often create fake profiles on dating or social networks to start talking to victims and win them over emotionally, said a lawyer and partner in. Clark Law OfficeDavid Clark.

Scammers tend to target vulnerable people – say the elderly or recently divorced or bereaved. However, “it is important to remember that these scams can happen to anyone, regardless of their level of financial knowledge,” said Tommy Gallagher, a former investment banker and founder of the organization. Top Mobile Bankinga site dedicated to digital banking.

Once they gain the trust of the victims, the scammers will start asking for money. They will come up with excuses like they have a medical emergency, or say they want to visit the victim, like Bob did. Once the victim starts sending money, the scammer will demand more until they run out of money, Clark said.

Unfortunately, that’s what happened to the victim Mashable spoke to: “Every day, he [brought] They wanted more money until I ran out of money and went into debt. When he saw that I had no money, he stopped answering my messages and stopped taking my calls.

“Usually it takes a significant loss of money before the victims realize that things are wrong and protest.”

“When it comes to matters of the heart, even the most rational people can throw their guard off,” Gallagher said.

People may fall into romantic ruts because grifters meet their emotional needs, noted a licensed therapist and vice president of marketing at Divorce AnswersLauren Cook-McKay. Scammers know what victims want to hear: promises of love, compliments, messages of sympathy and compassion.

“In reality, it often takes a significant financial loss before victims realize that things are wrong and fight back,” Cook-McKay said. “This is because when our emotional needs are met, we are willing to look beyond the negative in an effort to maintain that source of emotional support.”

There are many types of romantic fraud, according to Clark:

• A military scam, where the fraudster pretends to be a member of the military – like Bob.

• An oil rig scam, where they pretend to work as an oil rigger.

• It’s an intimate media exchange, where the scammer gets the victim to send a nude photo or video to use to make a mistake.

“But no matter what type of romance scam,” Clark said, “the scammer will always make excuses to avoid their victim, such as being too far away and unable to meet the victim or avoiding video calls.”

How can I avoid scams in love?

Be careful when you meet online, and don’t be suspicious of anyone who asks for personal information or money, Gallagher said. Never give money to someone you’ve never met in person, and never share personal information like bank account numbers or your Social Security number.

Some dating apps, like Tinder, have authentication features where users can prove they are who they say they are. Tinder and other Match Group dating apps have also taken off features to help people sniff out cheaters. In the UK, Match and OurTime have partnered in a joint campaign with the City of London police and the Action Fraud reporting agency.

If you use the Service without verification or your like is not verified, you can a reverse image search. Clark recommends doing this on Google or a site called The Social Catfish.

You can also stop talking to someone who refuses to meet in person or via video; a big red flag.

Ask questions about their identity, or ask for proof. If they say they are in the military, for example, ask to see their military card. “They can also ask someone what their MOS is [military occupation specialty code] is something. MOS identifies a person’s job title,” Clark said. “They can also ask questions about military culture, such as basic training or their favorite MRE. [Meal, Ready-to-Eat] handle.”

There’s new evidence to suggest that scammers are increasingly impersonating your loved ones, so be on the lookout for that too. Contact a friend, partner, or anyone else to see if they are being impersonated.

If you’ve already given money to a fraudster, contact your bank and credit card companies and tell them what happened, says Gallagher. You can report them to the dating site you met them on, too report them to the FTC like that.

Besides researching your match and calling out cheaters, Cook-McKay said “stop dating and being in love.” Learn how to meet your emotional needs and validate them, so you don’t turn to others; seek the help of a mental health professional if needed.

Most importantly, Gallagher said, don’t be shy about reaching out to friends and family for support. You are not alone. “By being aware of the dangers and taking the necessary precautions,” he said, “we can all protect ourselves and our loved ones from the cruel actions of these fraudsters.”

This article was first published in 2023 and republished in 2026.