Dear ABBY: I just finished a five day trip visiting young relatives. Both are adults in their early 30s. They work full time and make decent money, although they spend it as quickly as they earn it. What worries me is their pot smoking.
Recreational marijuana is legal here as well as where they live. During their visit, they smoked joints before breakfast, mid-morning, after lunch, before dinner, after dinner and before bed. I would estimate that they smoked five to seven joints a day. They often say that what they buy here is much stronger than what they can get at home. I suggested that maybe they should smoke a little, but I got the reply that “we are on vacation”.
They include smoking and caffeinated beverages. Both showed extreme anxiety and paranoia. Many times, they drive their rental car after smoking, and would have received a DUI if they had been stopped for any reason.
I didn’t say anything about their potty during the visit, but then I thought that if they had seen me with a new glass of wine in my hand at breakfast, followed by five or six more during the day, they would have worried about my habits. Am I crazy to worry about them?
I don’t know if this is how they spend their normal days off work, or if this was a holiday indulgence. Should I just shut up and let it go, or should I try to talk to them now that their visit is over? – OBSERVER IN OREGON
Dear Viewer: How these full-time relatives spend their money is not a subject you should raise. However, you have the right to tell them that you were concerned not only about the amount of pot they were smoking while they were visiting, but also that they were driving under the influence. Marijuana may be legal, but that doesn’t make it safe to use in every situation. Being stoned reduces reaction time and puts them and other drivers at risk.
Dear ABBY: My boyfriend and I have been living with his parents for two years. We are ready to move, but there is a feeling that his parents want us to stay with them forever. I’m ready to just leave, but I don’t want to create drama. His father calls me rude names and argues with my boyfriend. I don’t want my daughter to live like this anymore. Should I just leave, or should I first explain to them what our plans are and then leave? – ENOUGH DOWN
DEAR ENOUGH: I suspect there is at least one chapter and one verse missing from your book. Instead of leaving in a rage or storming off without explanation, you and your spouse should thank you his parents for letting you live with them for the past two years, tell them you’ve found your place now and leave as sweetly as possible.
Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at DearAbby.com or PO Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.
