Dear ABBY: My husband and I are in our early 60s. For the past five years, we’ve been having a lot of fun. We dress up, pretend, and invite friends to join us from time to time. It’s been great and it’s kept us young.
Then one of our older children had to move home. He doesn’t go out. His girlfriend comes to stay on weekends. Needless to say, it put a damper on our fun. We’re down in the dumps on Monday when we go back to work, so we play when we can.
We went to hotels, but it’s not the same freedom. My husband says that our son has grown up and we should do what we would do if he was not at home. He can accept or leave. Abby, what are your thoughts? – NESTERS THAT ARE NO LONGER EXISTING
LOVE NESTERS ARE NO LONGER: It is your home, and you should be free to do whatever you want in it. You really need to have a conversation with your son and make it clear that there are times when you and your husband need “privacy.” If he asks why, tell him the truth. He then suggests that on other weekends, he and his girlfriend stay at his house.
Dear ABBY: I have been married for 14 years to the father of my son. Meanwhile, he cheated on me and talked to many other women. When I told my family that we were getting a divorce, one of my brothers got angry with me, and told me that I should do everything I can to succeed.
The people I thought would help me were gone. People turned their backs on me, including fellow believers. However, some friends stood next to me. It hurt me a lot. What was once a united family was now torn apart.
I met a man who lives an hour and a half away from me. He treats me and my son wonderfully. I chose to move to the same city as my boyfriend, but my son didn’t want to leave sports and friends. He told me that it was okay and that he was going to live with his father. I was sad. But then my siblings started telling me to leave my son, so I changed my mind and stayed. My boyfriend was fine with it because he loves my son and wants the best for him.
My ex and siblings are always stable and doing things. My ex is always invited to parties and events, while I never even get a text message asking how things are going with me. It hurts, and I am deeply depressed because of this. Did I do something wrong? – DISAPPOINTED CHAPTER IN KENTUCKY
LOVE THE CHAPTER: You didn’t do anything wrong. It is clear to me that your family has always been more attached to your unfaithful partner than to you. I don’t blame you for feeling sad and depressed. That said, however, I think you should move to rekindle your relationship with your boyfriend. In a new city, there will be few reminders of this sad chapter of your life, and you can make new friends and build a new life. If your depression persists, counseling will put you on the right track.
Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at PO Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069
