My husband does not get along with my sister and her husband is tearing my family apart
Dear ABBY: We are gay, and my husband has never gotten along with my sister and her husband. The tension has grown over the 17 years they’ve known each other. I suspect my sister may feel competitive or jealous of our relationship. She sees herself as a self-centered person, while her husband is quiet and aloof.
We see them once a year for a few days, but my husband now avoids them completely – he even chooses to stay in a hotel during half of their visits. I feel sad: I understand that my husband feels disrespected, but I am also sad that my only close family is not really welcome at home. I am asking for help. – PROBLEM SIS-UATION
DEAR SIS-UATION: If your sister and her husband can’t treat your husband with extra warmth, I’m not sure why you would expect him to welcome them. Since you are paying for the room anyway, why not book see up at the hotel and meet outside your home for a meal or other visit? If your husband is able to reduce his exposure to them without running away from his home, the situation may not be comfortable.
Dear ABBY: I am a 36-year-old man and divorced, I have been living with my girlfriend for a year. You are more accomplished and sophisticated in many ways than I am. You bring this up in any argument. How do I deal with this? – UNDER TEXAS
SUBSCRIBE BELOW: There is a name for people who have been doing this for a long time. They are smart bullies. Your girlfriend may be more sophisticated than you in “many ways,” but her people skills are brutal. He can’t fight well, and if he doesn’t stop, he’ll be able to knock you out. Tell him that. It might help.
Dear ABBY: I am a 32 year old gay man. I don’t want a partner anymore. I feel comfortable in my own skin while keeping a healthy distance from 95% of people. I’ve been like this for the past three to five years because I have my own drama to deal with and I can’t handle someone else’s drama on top of it.
It’s not that I don’t like people, I just got to the point where I started to distrust people, especially, including my employers at the company I drive long distance trucks for. I just wanted to know what your thoughts are on this. – ONLY IN NORTH CAROLINA
LOVE ALONE: At the age of 32, you are still a young man with a long life ahead of you. I’m sorry you didn’t mention what happened to you that made you distrust other people — it would have been helpful, because relationships are important. My thought on this is: You need to make an appointment at the nearest LGBTQ community center and talk to a therapist about this. And, if necessary, consider looking for another company to call – or a job change – because it’s not healthy to be looking over your shoulder 24/7.
Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at PO Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.
